Ragnar and I are at Klätta, putting up the gates we built to finish off the fencing job. Today I want to talk a bit about the reality of farming as a small family with kids, because in this age where the small farm movement is booming, it’s easy to get idealistic and romantic notions of what running a farm business and working with your family is actually like.
Are you farming with loved ones?
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Even though I´m not a farmer, I feel the same way in many points and see some general patterns there.
I think if you are a reflected person, you clearly see the opposing targets you want to achieve in life.
You can´t turn of responsibility for sth. if you took the responsibility for it.
You can´t have a leading position and then turn away, because your personal wishes are knocking to be fulfilled.
You can´t start a working process and then leave it, while it is unfinished when you see the bad consequences coming with it.
And so, it goes on and on.
But on the other hand, how can your girlfriend / family / friends compete with your job, when things are like that.
I got a responsibility for my girlfriend, family and friends too and actually don´t know either how to balance that.
I feel like I can´t do a little bit of everything and meet my sense of how things need to be done or fulfil my role in my job. It just doesn´t work without letting sth. or somebody down.
To make it more complex, every person in your social surrounding has his/her own priorities and expectations of my role in their life, which maybe opposing or at least differentially weighted.
From time to time a sometimes ask myself, what my old me would think of his life, when “that one bad day” is there.
When I was younger, they were like, where would I have been in the world? What would I have seen? Did I achieve my dreams/goals? Are there many epic memories?
The questions are changing now to:
What decisions have I made and what consequences came with them?
What will I be known for by my beloved ones?
Did I met my personal values in life?
I need to get answers to that and quit my job by the end of the year and try to live as basic as I can to come down to earth an redefine my life and make new decisions.
I have enough savings to do that and hope to get some new impulses where to go next.
Maybe starting a farm. ;D
To make a long story short:
I think context and focus is shifting over time and need to be monitored constantly in a relationship, as everyone has its own context and struggles in life, even if you work at the same place.
I think there needs to be room to speak about this open minded and without offense.
Some choices bring consequences you can´t change immediately, so I think everyone needs to be clear about that.